Remember the days when making a cup of tea was just that? Now all of a sudden, making tea, popping to the shop or having that unnecessary secret bitch about that bitch we love to hate seems to be interesting to the outside world, but is it really?
As a twitter convert and unashamed member of the glorious twitterati, I was shocked to find my self recently tweeting my way through life at unprecedented speed. ”Sat next to drunk man on night bus” might be true, it might even be slightly funny to someone, somewhere, but are we inviting people we don’t know into our lives at a unhealthy rate? Are our once internal private thoughts in the public sphere before we’ve had time to decipher them ourselves? Should some peoples private thoughts be more private than others?
I think the answer to this is definitely, sometimes yes. There are somethings Twitter isnt for, and there are some people who just should’t tweet, but for some painfully difficult reason we still jump to it the minute we have a thought. With only 140 characters one might think “but….. what could possibly go wrong on this micro blogging platform?”
Answer: A lot.
10 Things I Hate About Twitter.
1. Negative tweeters, being subjected to other peoples winges, moans, bitchyness and depressive cries for help.
If you’re going to tweet, at least be happy, funny, informative, or useful 95% of the time. If all you do is bitch and moan then suicide is probably a healthy option for all involved.
2. The he/she un-followed me crisis.
Of course people are going to unfollow us on Twitter, our lives are mostly boring, annoying and self indulgent, no one is everyone’s cup of tea. Get over it.
3. I followed them, (after meeting them once) but they never followed me back *cries & writes bitchy indirect.
Again, really who cares? Follow who you want without conditions.
4. Preachy tweets from the downright dastardly.
These tweeters pollute your time line with the tweets described in number 1) then suddenly a magic happy fairy takes over their twitters and they bombard us with self help. Take your social justice holier than thou, I’m am a perfect person, bolloxs and shove it down your own throat.
5. @’ing wars between friends and industry folks
Unbearable, unprofessional, cringeworthy, childish, painfully awful NEVER EVER OKAY, especially because we all know you’ll be tweeting eachother like BFF’s next week. Real friends argue face to face and on the phone.
6. Spammers and bots
I want to tweet about custard creams without being spammed and I dont want to watch russian porn.
7. Celebrities (I say that kindly) that dont tweet thier followers, yet tweet questions at them incessantly.
Pointless and self indulgent.
8. Self promotion VS Lying
We all love a bit of check out my …… or telling our followers what we are up to after all that is what its there for, however thoese tweeting about every single possible business venture like you’ve just made your first million……..not cool.
Passive agressive tweeters, grow some balls or shut up
10. Celebrity stunts
awwww have you got a single/video/album/clothing line/book out? awwww did you “suddenly” pick on another celebrity to get attention *claps*
*This can sometimes be funny when one celebrity is far funnier than the other, but & even then its still all a bit desperate.
Follow Lilly on twitter:
@lillylovelett ( Can’t promise to be a perfect tweeter but you can definitely pull me up if I tweet out of line, after all nobodies twirfect )